Inverse Relay #1, step 2
Jim Henry translating into Lars Finsen's Urianian
19 July 2007
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Previous: David J. Peterson writing in Jim Henry's gjâ-zym-byn
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Urianian used to be documented in the files archive of a dedicated Yahoo
group. That group seems to have been deleted by Yahoo.
Jim Henry's Urianian text
| Lars Finsen's corrected Urianian text
|
|
Ixi má síti enzi taru. Téje naida. Esi agde legni elni, nu
naid cumani, en méi agde it. Saki zir irtegrisi. Merdi
cumi méun, dana si brigi jum sé tegrisavi.
Má saje: "En méjam agde legni elni." Merdi saje si
cumbi enzat taria.
|
Ixi má síti enzi tarai. Téje naida. Esi agde
tíre elni, da
naid cumani, en méi it agde.
Saki tigatzuni tegriste.
Merdi
cumi méun, brigni jum sé tegrisavi.
Má saje: "En méjam agde legni elni." Merdi saje si
cumbi enzat taria.
|
Jim Henry's smooth English translation of the text
Once upon a time a boy sat under a tree.
He was waiting for night. He wanted to see all the stars,
but when night came, he could not see them.
He became sorrowful, and began to weep.
A girl came up to him, and she asked him why he
wept. He said: "I can't see all the stars!"
The girl said to him, that he ought to come out
from under the tree.
Comments on the corrections made
From: Lars Finsen
Date: Thu, Jul 19, 2007 at 7:43 PM
Subject: Re: Inverse relay torch
To: Jim Henry
Den 20. jul. 2007 kl. 01.44 skrev Jim Henry:
> Ixi má síti enzi taru. Téje naida. Esi agde legni elni, nu
> naid cumani, en méi agde it. Saki zir irtegrisi. Merdi
> cumi méun, dana si brigi jum sé tegrisavi.
> Má saje: "En méjam agde legni elni." Merdi saje si
> cumbi enzat taria.
Thanks, that looks beautiful, at least to me, the father of the
language. I really do like this type of relay. Will return with any
comments later.
I hope your procedure went well,
Sincerely,
Lars
From: Jim Henry
Date: Mon, Jul 30, 2007 at 11:52 AM
Subject: Re: Relay translation.
To: Lars Finsen
On 7/30/07, Lars Finsen wrote:
> Hi, Jim, how are you doing?
> I suppose you wouldn't be very keen on having your Urianian
> corrected, would you?
No, I welcome corrections. I sent a mail with
a few corrections to David Peterson after I
finished my Urianian text and sent it to you.
I'm sorry I didn't spent more time before the
relay studying Urianian and corresponding with
you about it -- first I got sick, and then I was
busy for a while with getting ready for the LCC2
trip. I'm glad to see from your smooth translation
that most of the meaning I got from David's
text got through, anyway, even if with imperfect
grammar.
--
Jim Henry
http://www.pobox.com/~jimhenry
From: Lars Finsen
Date: Tue, Jul 31, 2007 at 9:41 AM
Subject: Re: Relay translation.
To: Jim Henry
Den 30. jul. 2007 kl. 18.52 skrev Jim Henry:
> No, I welcome corrections. I sent a mail with
> a few corrections to David Peterson after I
> finished my Urianian text and sent it to you.
Okay, good - see below.
> I'm sorry I didn't spent more time before the
> relay studying Urianian and corresponding with
> you about it
That is very understandable. However it isn't that much to correct.
And I must take my part of the blame since my plans for a
comprehensive updating of the lessons and the dictionary did not come
off due to a heavy work load. Those lessons are really only rather
sketchy and I think I will go for am entirely new website
presentation to replace them. I think I will change the language
quite a bit in the near future too. If I can ever find the time.
> that most of the meaning I got from David's
> text got through, anyway, even if with imperfect
> grammar.
I thought you or somebody else had made a couple of mistakes in the
text, because there were a couple of things that didn't make sense to
me. I tried to guess what the original intention may have been, but
now I see that I did a pretty silly mistake myself in failing to
distinguish 'tír' from 'tar'. Guess it's too late to mend my
translation now that it's sent 3 days ago.
Anyway here are the Urianian grammar points:
"Ixi má síti enzi taru" - 'enzi' is a prepositional in the
instrumental case and requires the tree to take the dative, thus: tarai.
"Esi agde legni elni, nu naid cumani, en méi agde it" - legun is a
collective and does not go with elni. Besides they are direct objects
and should take the accusative. I would prefer: tíre elni.
I think "da" is a better translation of but than "nu" in this
sentence. It conveys a stronger negating sense.
The one-syllable oblique pronouns go before the verb: "it agde".
"Saki zir irtegrisi" - I would prefer tigatzi tegriste here. Also in
place of 'zir' I would prefer a participle: Saki tigatzuni tegriste.
"Merdi cumi méun, dana si brigi jum sé tegrisavi" - I would drop
'dana' and use a participle: Merdi cumi méun brigni jum sé tegrisavi.
The rest is correct. Not bad at all after a week of learning, or
maybe less. Most of the points where we disagree are about things
that we tend to see much better after some experience with the
language. I would grade you A+ (or whatever you prefer).
Ávi da sama je zun fet da sindai git tilsa. (Take care of yourself
and good health for your journey forth from here.)
Lars
From: Jim Henry
Date: Wed, Aug 1, 2007 at 10:20 AM
Subject: Re: Relay translation.
To: Lars Finsen
On 7/31/07, Lars Finsen wrote:
> And I must take my part of the blame since my plans for a
> comprehensive updating of the lessons and the dictionary did not come
> off due to a heavy work load. Those lessons are really only rather
> sketchy and I think I will go for am entirely new website
> presentation to replace them. I think I will change the language
> quite a bit in the near future too. If I can ever find the time.
You would probably get more useful feedback if
the language is presented on a website rather than
in RTF files in a listgroup site.
>
> > that most of the meaning I got from David's
> > text got through, anyway, even if with imperfect
> > grammar.
>
> I thought you or somebody else had made a couple of mistakes in the
> text, because there were a couple of things that didn't make sense to
> me. I tried to guess what the original intention may have been, but
> now I see that I did a pretty silly mistake myself in failing to
> distinguish 'tír' from 'tar'. Guess it's too late to mend my
> translation now that it's sent 3 days ago.
We'll talk more about that later, probably, after the
relay is over.
> The rest is correct. Not bad at all after a week of learning, or
> maybe less.
It was more than a week, but certainly less than
three weeks over the two+ months I should have
been studying it.
>Most of the points where we disagree are about things
> that we tend to see much better after some experience with the
> language.
Yes, I expect I would have done better if I'd spent
some time corresponding with you about the language,
sending you exercise sentences and asking if they
were correct, etc., during the last couple of months.
I'd like to do another inverse relay sometime
with a slightly longer lead time, maybe three months.
>I would grade you A+ (or whatever you prefer).
>
> Ávi da sama je zun fet da sindai git tilsa. (Take care of yourself
> and good health for your journey forth from here.)
Thanks. I'm still in the hospital but doing better
and will probably go home soon (for suitable
senses of "soon").
--
Jim Henry
http://www.pobox.com/~jimhenry
Up: Inverse relay index
Previous: David J. Peterson writing in Jim Henry's gjâ-zym-byn
Next: Lars Finsen translating into Elliott Lash's Silindion
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