Inverse Relay #1, step 3
Lars Finsen translating into Elliott Lash's Silindion
28 July 2007
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Lars Finsen's Silindion text
| Elliott Lash's corrected Silindion text
|
|
Iė aralėo emė lėorvi panwė sindėa i nerassėavi. Aphain turninna.
Aninin tiliello naksin i silinyari.
Liė, vankia ahwilin i ssurni eo tiliello teissi. Nenyassin nė asirrėn
nuskello.
Ahwilin lier i phanwėanna nė aphelkėn o vanu anukun.
Oro i phanwė: "Esi vóyello tildįn naksin i silinyari!"
"Lindėsi fililė ėassalim palandi," oro i lier.
|
Miė, arįlėo, panwė isinda ya
tessephevi.
Aphai i ssurnķn.
Anini tiliello naksķn i silinyari.
Liė, lėovissa ahwilu i ssurni, ei
tiliello teissi.
Anenyassi nė asirrė nuskello.
Ahwili lier i phanwėanna nė aphélkėo varnė
ssa anukunė.
Oro i phanwė: "Esi vóyello tiliello
naksķn i silinyari!"
"Lissi laissa filirė ėassalim palandi,"
oro i lier.
|
Lars Finsen's smooth English translation of the text
Once upon a time a boy was sitting under the blue sky. He was waiting
for the night. He wanted to see all the stars.
But when the night came, he did not see them. He became sad and
started to sob.
A maid came to the boy and asked him why he cried.
The boy said: "I cannot see all the stars!"
"I think you came from under a stone," the maid said.
Comments on the corrections made
From: Elliott Lash
Date: Mon, Aug 6, 2007 at 9:47 PM
Subject: [relay] Silindion Corrections
To: jimhenry1973@gmail.com
CORRECTED: Miė, arįlėo, panwė isinda ya
tessephevi.
LARS: Iė aralėo emė lėorvi panwė sindėa
i nerassėavi
Explanation:
This is an existential sentence, establishing the
existence of the boy, with his concurrent action of
sitting. Because of this, I replaced Lars'
'was', with 'there was'. Also, instead of using
the adjectival gerund 'sitting', I used the
conjunctive gerund . One mistake was vocab
related, refers to the day-time sky, but the
following sentences refer to the night-sky, so I
changed to to . The other change is
stylistic, from < arįlėo emė lėorvi> to .
CORRECTED: Aphai i ssurnķn.
LARS: Aphain turninna.
Explanation:
Since my verb-conjugation page is not yet
completed, it may have been confusing, but past tenses
verbs, such as 'looked out for, kept vigil,
watched' do not take the 3rd person singular suffix
<-n> (or <-r>). Also, this verb takes the accusative
case. Otherwise, I added the article which is not
technically needed.
CORRECTED: Anini tiliello naksķn i silinyari
LARS: Aninin tiliello naksin i silinyari.
Explanation:
I just deleted the 3rd person suffix <-n> from
the past tense and added an accent to "all"
(accusative), since accusatives of vowel stems are
accented on the last syllable.
CORRECTED: Liė, lėovissa ahwilu i ssurni, ei
tiliello teissi.
LARS: Liė, vankia ahwilin i ssurni eo
tiliello teissi
Explanation:
The word which I assume is a typo for
'when', is an interrogative, not a relative
conjunction. I replaced it with the appropriate
relative conjunction , which takes the
subjunctive. This mistake is probably my fault as my
dictionary may not have made clear the different
functions of these words. The word appears to be
the negative verb with a 3rd person oblique
enclitic, which I replaced with the simple 3rd person
past tense .
CORRECTED: Anenyassi nė asirrė nuskello.
LARS: Nenyassin nė asirrėn nuskello.
Explanation:
The first mistake is my fault, since my
dictionary lists the past tense of 'become
sad' as . However, the actual past tense is
, with the augment. Otherwise, I have
removed the 3rd person singular suffixes.
CORRECTED: Ahwili lier i phanwėanna nė aphélkėo varnė
ssa anukunė.
LARS: Ahwilin lier i phanwėanna nė aphelkėn o vanu
anukun
Explanation:
First, I removed the the 3rd person singular
suffixes from the past tense verbs. The other mistake
is my fault. I told Lars that the word for 'why' is
. However, this is only partly the case.
refers to an act that has not taken place, it is
technically translated as 'to what purpose', whereas
the word appropriate in this case is 'for what
reason', referring to the past, a result of a previous
action. This can be (but doesn't have to be) followed
by the conjunction or 'that'. I also
changed Lars' (subjunctive past with
superfluous -n) to an imperfect, but this was
stylistic.
CORRECTED: Oro i phanwė: "Esi vóyello tiliello
naksķn i silinyari!"
LARS: Oro i phanwė: "Esi vóyello tildįn
naksin i silinyari!"
Explanation:
The major issue here was with the accusative
gerund < tildįn>. The appropriate form is the
infinitive , which I substituted. The
accusative nominal gerund can only be used as a verb
in very specific circumstances, mostly when an
indicative or subjunctive verbal form could be
subsituted as a complement. This would be as
impossible in Silindion as 'I cannot that I see' is in
English.
CORRECTED: "Lissi laissa filirė ėassalim palandi,"
oro i lier.
LARS: "Lindėsi fililė ėassalim palandi,"
oro i lier.
Explanation:
The first mistake is my fault, as I have not yet
provided an indepth conjugation of the present tense
of athematic consonant stem verbs. The verb for
example is conjugated:
lissi linda
lildė linta
lindė linto
Secondly, I replaced the symple subjunctive
(typo for ?), with
'it's better that you come', which is more
stylistically appropriate.
I shall write up a vocab and a short grammar sketch
tomorrow.
-Elliott
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Last updated February 2008